What Your Online Students’ Silence Might Really Mean (And Why You Can’t Let It Slide)
The Virtual Vibe: Success and Sanity for the Online Teacher
August 11, 2025
When students go silent in an online course, it’s tempting to think they’re just ghosting you or don’t care. But here’s the cold, hard truth: silence without follow-up is you not holding them accountable. It’s missing a golden opportunity to teach the value of responsibility and follow-through. If we don’t call them in on it, they won’t learn that commitments matter, and neither will their future bosses.
The first few weeks are prime time to build relationships, not just assignments. Get to know who they are beyond the screen, their hobbies, their favorite Netflix binge, or the chaos of siblings and pets in the background. When students feel seen and known, they work harder. Period.
And hey, don’t make it a one-way street. Share a little about yourself too. What’s your weird hobby? The guilty pleasure TV show you won’t admit to? Vulnerability builds trust, and trust builds engagement.
Pro Tip: Keep a list of fun, light-hearted questions to ask students during early conversations — it’s a great way to break the ice and show you care without feeling awkward.
Silence Isn’t Golden, It’s a Red Flag
Sometimes students don’t reach out because they’re nervous or don’t want to admit they’re stuck. They run into simple problems that could be fixed in five minutes if they’d just pick up the phone or send a message. If we’re not proactively connecting and holding them accountable, we might never know there was an issue in the first place.
Accountability isn’t about punishment, it’s about teaching students that their responsibilities matter, even when it’s uncomfortable. Their silence isn’t a free pass to coast.
Callbacks: More About Connection, Less About Interrogation
When you finally get a chance to call that silent student, think of it as your chance to connect, not to conduct a formal investigation. Ask about their day, their struggles, or even their latest meme obsession. Your goal is to make sure you’re not the reason they never want to answer the phone again. No one likes a scary coach.
Keep it short, sweet, and remember, you don’t have to dump every syllabus detail on them in one call. They’ll only retain about a third of what you say anyway. Focus on one or two key points and save the rest for later. Build the relationship first, schoolwork second.
Pro Tip: End your calls by scheduling a specific time for the next check-in. It sets clear expectations and keeps the momentum going without feeling like a surprise.
Connect With Families Early, But Be Strategic
Building relationships with families from day one is like setting up an alliance. You’re not just a teacher, you’re part of the student’s support squad. But let’s be real, parents have their own lives, maybe they’re late for work, dealing with a flat tire, or drowning in a sea of emails. So approach those conversations with grace, humor, and a touch of patience.
Reach out early with a simple introduction and a clear invitation. You’re here to partner with them to help their student succeed. Keep it genuine, not overwhelming. And remember, they probably won’t remember your whole spiel anyway, so keep it tight and focused.
Final Thought: Relationships Are Your Secret Weapon
At the end of the day, no amount of lesson planning or grading will replace the power of a strong connection. When students and families know you care and you’re approachable, they’re more likely to show up, ask for help, and push through challenges.
So, hold them accountable, build trust, and don’t be afraid to show a little of your own quirks. You got this.
Pause, Ponder & Progress
Am I holding students accountable for their commitments, even when it’s uncomfortable?
How can I better connect with students early on to encourage openness and trust?
Am I balancing important information with brevity during my first calls with students?
What strategies can I use to build genuine partnerships with families without overwhelming them?
About the Author
With over 20 years in education - most of them spent in the virtual trenches - Desire’ Mosser has done more than survive online teaching; she’s helped others thrive in it! As the author of SOS: Strategies for Online Survival, she dishes out practical tools, honest lessons, and just the right amount of humor to keep educators going.
Former Pasco eSchool Teacher of the Year and Florida Virtual Schools Mentor of the Year, she continues to champion excellence in virtual learning today. She currently serves as Vice President of B.O.L.D. (Blended Online Learning Discovery of Florida). Her passion? Coaching educators to find their stride, build meaningful connections with students and families, and master the art of scheduling for sanity—preferably with a strong cup of coffee in hand. For more real talk, useful tips, and the occasional caffeine-fueled confession, connect with her on LinkedIn.
