WTF Moments and Win-Win Growth: Why This Work Matters
The Virtual Vibe: Success and Sanity for the Online Teacher
September 22, 2025
Being a teacher leader is the best job you’ll ever secretly resent.
Some days it’s magic. Some days it just sucks, and we need to talk about those days.
Your job is basically to help grown-ups change their practice without making them hate you. That means:
Sharing things people don’t always want to hear.
Pointing out habits that can be taken as criticism.
Gently nudging folks toward alternative approaches, while making them believe they discovered those approaches themselves.
All this while smiling, sipping lukewarm coffee, and pretending you’re not silently begging the universe to give you the right words. Some days it feels less like coaching and more like a high-stakes improv show where the audience is armed with data spreadsheets and feelings.
And yes, there are moments when the mask slips. Like the time I was in a Teams coaching session with a teacher who was really struggling. I thought I was just silently reacting, but apparently I mouthed WTF right on screen—and they read my lips. They were there for help, and I just… WTF-ed them. Rebounding from that in the moment was rough, and I spent the rest of the session mentally doing damage control. (We laugh about it now. Mostly.)
Relationships matter…a lot. Strong ones are the only way the tough conversations happen. But strong relationships also mean people open up. Suddenly you’re not just their coach; you’re the keeper of their heartbreaks, sick kids, and midnight anxieties. If you’re the kind of person who absorbs other people’s burdens (hi, it’s me), those conversations can follow you home and sit heavy on your shoulders long after you’ve closed the laptop.
Yet…we stay. Because the work matters. When teachers feel supported and brave enough to try something new, students feel it. Classrooms shift. Whole schools shift. Your job isn’t to make people comfortable, it’s to make them better. A single well-timed conversation can change the course of an entire campus, rippling out to hundreds of kids who will never know your name.
I was reminded of this recently when an email from a former colleague landed in my inbox years after I’d coached her. I sat there staring at the screen, blinking hard, because here it was, proof that all those awkward conversations had planted roots even when I thought they’d bounced off concrete. She wrote that, even though she never said it at the time, I was the most supportive coach she’d ever had. She admitted that I often said things she didn’t necessarily want to hear but later realized she needed to hear. She thanked me for sticking with her through the uncomfortable growth. That note was a gut punch in the best way: confirmation that the words we sweat over can echo for years.
That’s not just coaching; that’s impact with a capital I.
Teacher leaders: keep showing up. Keep having the hard conversations. You may never get the thank-you email, but trust me, the echoes are already shaping classrooms you’ll never see.
Two Pro Tips to Stay (Mostly) Sane
Pro Tip #1: Master the Pause.
Before responding to a tough comment or a defensive reaction, breathe. Two seconds of silence can save you from blurting something that sets back months of trust-building.
Pro Tip #2: Build Your Dumping Ground.
Find a trusted colleague, journal, therapist, or even a long walk to unload the emotional weight. My own dog is probably sick of hearing me process the day while we wander the neighborhood at dusk—but he still gets an extra treat for listening. The point is: carry everyone else’s baggage out of the virtual building, but don’t carry it alone.
Pause, Ponder & Progress
When was the last time you shared hard feedback, and how did you manage the other person’s response?
Where do you notice yourself taking on more emotional weight than is healthy?
Who might be silently grateful for your coaching right now, even if they haven’t said it yet?
How do you recharge after emotionally heavy coaching sessions?
What small boundary could you set this week to protect your own mental space?
About the Author
With over 20 years in education - most of them spent in the virtual trenches - Desire’ Mosser has done more than survive online teaching; she’s helped others thrive in it! As the author of SOS: Strategies for Online Survival, she dishes out practical tools, honest lessons, and just the right amount of humor to keep educators going.
Former Pasco eSchool Teacher of the Year and Florida Virtual Schools Mentor of the Year, she continues to champion excellence in virtual learning today. She currently serves as Vice President of B.O.L.D. (Blended Online Learning Discovery of Florida). Her passion? Coaching educators to find their stride, build meaningful connections with students and families, and master the art of scheduling for sanity—preferably with a strong cup of coffee in hand. For more real talk, useful tips, and the occasional caffeine-fueled confession, connect with her on LinkedIn.
