When Parents Go Silent: Navigating the Ghost Town of Virtual Family Communication
The Virtual Vibe: Success and Sanity for the Online Teacher
July 14, 2025
I’ve spent more time tracking down parents than teaching their kids some weeks. There, I said it.
In virtual education, family communication isn’t just a box to check, it’s a lifeline. But if you’ve ever tried calling, emailing, or texting into the digital void and heard nothing back but the sound of your own sanity unraveling, you are NOT alone.
It’s easy to assume the worst:
They’re not paying attention.
They’re too busy for me.
They don’t care.
And sometimes, that might even be true.
But here’s the other truth: we don’t always know what’s happening on the other end of the line.
The Emotional Labor of the Unanswered Call
I used to dial parents just to log the call. Literally. I’d call during the day, knowing full well they probably wouldn’t pick up, leave a message, and move on. Except it wasn’t actually moving on; it was me spinning my wheels, wasting energy, and resenting parents for not meeting me in a moment that wasn’t realistic for them. It was me trying to check a box, to show that I attempted to accomplish what was expected of me.
I had to take a hard look at that habit.
Most parents I’ve worked with, they’re working too, traditional 8-to-4 or 8-to-5 jobs. So when I called at 2 p.m., I wasn’t being proactive, I was being inefficient. Sure, some families work nights or have irregular schedules, but the point is this: if we want a response, we have to be smart about when and how we reach out.
Call With Purpose, Not Just for the Log
There was a time I felt pressure to “just get the call in.” But guess what? Calling for the sake of documentation, not connection, only led to more frustration. It turned communication into a checklist, not a conversation. And it burned me out. Like, ready to work at Starbucks type of burnout. Sign me up for my daily free shaken espresso with cold foam and two pumps of brown sugar!
Eventually, I asked myself,
Am I calling to actually connect, or just to say I tried?
That question changed the game.
Now, I call smarter, not harder. I use evening hours when needed, leave clear voicemails, and give options for texting or emailing when appropriate. I stopped cold-calling like a telemarketer and started being more intentional. And you know what? I got more responses.
Let’s Talk About the Ones Who Really Drive You Nuts
Here’s the thing, I never cared all that much if a parent ghosted me when their student was doing great in my class.
But when the student was MIA and the parent was too? Oh, I would get so peeved off. The kind of mad that turns into late-night “Why won’t they answer me?” text rants that nobody asked for.
For years, I ran around saying things like,
“Parents just don’t care anymore,”
or
“How many times do I have to call them before they pick up!?”
But one day, a colleague challenged me. They said, “Okay, but how many parents aren’t responding? Like, actually? Count them.”
So I did. I pulled the numbers. And surprise:
Most of them were responding.
Maybe not right away and as urgently as I would have liked, but they were there.
It was a small handful of chronic no-shows who had taken up all the real estate in my memory. And once I faced that, I could stop generalizing and start strategizing.
What This Really Comes Down To
Don’t waste your energy trying to reach people at times that don’t make sense.
Give grace, but be honest with yourself about the patterns you’re seeing and the ones that you are unintentionally creating.
Track data, not just feelings.
Set boundaries, you are not available 24/7, and that’s okay.
Most importantly, stop letting the silent few define the entire narrative.
Final Thought: Connection Over Compliance
At the end of the day, what we want is connection, not perfect documentation. Communicating with families is hard in virtual spaces, but it’s not hopeless. It’s just human, messy, unpredictable, frustrating, and sometimes surprisingly rewarding.
And when the silence hits, pause, adjust, and keep showing up for the students who need you, and for the ones who still have a village, even if that village only checks their email after dinner.
Pause, Ponder & Progress
When was the last time I tracked actual parent responses instead of relying on my gut feelings about who’s engaged?
How often am I calling or messaging parents at times when they realistically can’t respond? What purpose is this serving?
In what ways do I let a few difficult communications overshadow the majority of positive connections?
How can I set better boundaries to protect my sanity without sacrificing student support?
What small changes in my communication strategy could save me time and get better results?
About the Author
With over 20 years in education - most of them spent in the virtual trenches - Desire’ Mosser has done more than survive online teaching; she’s helped others thrive in it! As the author of SOS: Strategies for Online Survival, she dishes out practical tools, honest lessons, and just the right amount of humor to keep educators going.
Former Pasco eSchool Teacher of the Year and Florida Virtual Schools Mentor of the Year, she continues to champion excellence in virtual learning today. She currently serves as Vice President of B.O.L.D. (Blended Online Learning Discovery of Florida). Her passion? Coaching educators to find their stride, build meaningful connections with students and families, and master the art of scheduling for sanity—preferably with a strong cup of coffee in hand. For more real talk, useful tips, and the occasional caffeine-fueled confession, connect with her on LinkedIn.
