Building Trust: Why Relationships Matter More Than Ever in Digital Learning
The Virtual Vibe: Success and Sanity for the Online Teacher
MAY 19, 2025
In a virtual classroom, relationship-building can sometimes feel like an abstract concept. How do you get to really know a student when you don’t have physical proximity and might be feeling like you're talking to yourself behind a screen? The reality is, relationships matter more than ever when it comes to digital learning. Without a strong foundation of trust, students can easily disengage, feel isolated, or simply miss out on the full educational experience. Here are some quick, and mostly painless, ways to help build relationships with your online learners.
Step 1: Share Your "Behind-the-Screen" Story
We’ve all been guilty of keeping it strictly “business” when working with online learners. But here’s a not-so-secret secret: your students want to know who’s behind the screen and behind the voice on the other end of the phone. So go ahead and share a bit about your day, a hobby, your favorite snack, the names of your cats, or how you’re still cleaning up after spilling coffee (a.k.a liquid gold) down the front of you five minutes ago.
It’s not about oversharing your life story, it’s about reminding your students that you’re a real human who’s also juggling work, life, Wi-Fi issues, and maybe a rogue toddler or two.
Pro Tip: Start building connections with your students starting on day one. Utilize all lines of communication as a way to learn about their likes, dislikes, hobbies, extracurriculars, family dynamics, siblings, and of course pets. Your own fun facts and personal stories can also be sprinkled into your course landing page, emails, phone calls, text messages, or in virtual lessons. A little personality goes a long way.
Step 2: Start with a “Snoop Question”
Instead of diving straight into the curriculum, begin every class or phone call with a “Snoop Question.” Try something like, “What’s your favorite movie snack?” or “What’s one thing you learned this week—not in school?” These simple questions help students feel seen and heard—no icebreakers involving two truths and a lie required.
Pro Tip: When possible, keep a log of each student’s “Snoop Question” responses so you can refer back to them in future conversations or emails. It shows that not only are you paying attention, but what they say actually matters. It’s like building your own mental playlist of student favorites—Snoop would approve of that level of loyalty.
Step 3: Encourage Mistakes, Celebrate Growth
In virtual learning, where everyone can feel a bit on display (even if they’re muted or replying by text), students often feel pressure to be perfect. Let’s break that cycle and normalize mistakes. For example, celebrate when a student says, “I don’t get it,” and turn it into a growth opportunity. Vulnerability isn’t weakness, it’s the gateway to real growth. When students feel comfortable making mistakes, trust becomes a natural byproduct.
Pro Tip: Give students a “phone-a-friend” opportunity in a live lesson when they’re unsure of an answer or of how to do something. This encourages them to connect with peers, promotes teamwork, and takes the pressure off being perfect.
Step 4: Consistent, Compassionate Communication
Show up virtually, even when there’s no big assignment or exam. Make a call, send a quick email or text message saying, “I see you’re working hard,” or “I haven’t seen you working this week, are you okay?” These small but consistent gestures remind students that you care beyond grades and deadlines.
Pro Tip: If it’s been a while since a student submitted work, start your conversation or email with “Are you okay?” instead of jumping straight into consequences. Once you’ve checked in and made sure they’re doing alright (maybe they’ve started a rock band and have been touring the country), then address the academic stuff. It’s a small shift, but it shows empathy and makes you seem a lot less like a scary teacher who survives on stress, occasional swear words, and coffee.
(Behind-the-Screen Story) Learn from Mosser’s’ mistakes…There’s nothing worse than opening a conversation with threats of withdrawing a student for lack of work in a course, only to discover that one of their parents passed away last week and they’ve been grieving. No matter how frustrated you may feel, always ask how they’re doing before diving into the virtual meat and potatoes (crockpot meal anyone?). Building connections with students means remembering that, just like us, they are real people with real lives, and that has to come before missed assignments and unread emails.
Trust is the cornerstone of any classroom, but it’s even more essential online, where students often feel disconnected. By showing empathy, being transparent, and making space for mistakes, you can create a virtual classroom environment where students feel safe, supported, and ready to engage.
Pause, Ponder & Progress
How can I share more of my personal story with my students to create a more relatable and trustworthy atmosphere?
What types of “Snoop Questions” could I introduce to help my students feel more comfortable and connected from the start?
How can I create an environment where mistakes are seen as opportunities for growth rather than something to avoid?
What small gestures of compassion could I incorporate into my communication to remind students that they’re more than just assignments?
About the Author
With over 20 years in education - most of them spent in the virtual trenches - Desire’ Mosser has done more than survive online teaching; she’s helped others thrive in it! As the author of SOS: Strategies for Online Survival, she dishes out practical tools, honest lessons, and just the right amount of humor to keep educators going.
Former Pasco eSchool Teacher of the Year and Florida Virtual Schools Mentor of the Year, she continues to champion excellence in virtual learning today. She currently serves as Vice President of B.O.L.D. (Blended Online Learning Discovery of Florida). Her passion? Coaching educators to find their stride, build meaningful connections with students and families, and master the art of scheduling for sanity—preferably with a strong cup of coffee in hand. For more real talk, useful tips, and the occasional caffeine-fueled confession, connect with her on LinkedIn.
